Balanced Unity
Being the middle daughter of 3 meant I had to live through the struggle that my parents had a baby girl over and over and over again. It was hard to grasp what the big deal was, I mean boys are messy, noisy and smelly, so why was having 3 princesses such a bad thing…? I felt for my mum. She got it quite bad from all angles, she was BLAMED for not being able to ‘produce a son’ and when I was old enough I would put people straight with a simple biology lesson…’errrm it’s down to my dad to produce the Y Chromosome actually!’
I guess you can say I experienced the inequality us girls, ladies and superwomen face from a very early age. This was inflamed when we had to tie a thread around ‘our brothers’ for Rakhi (cultural annual ceremony). Obviously we didn't have any brothers but I still managed to tie the thread around the wrist of 5 cousins (?!) and with no questions asked, I’d take the money (gift for this ritual). As I approached the age of questioning everything around me, I asked why we tie this thread? The answer was not one I could stomach. Errrr let me get this straight… I’m tying a thread on a cousin who is not only younger but smaller and weaker than me to ask for his protection?!! I only saw him once a year to tie the thread so HOW would he protect me? Besides he wasn’t a yellow belt in karate like I was! It dawned on
to. More spaces like this were popping up all over the organisation and the CEO couldn't ignore it. It snowballed into a flurry of workstreams - a mentorship programme for those from ethic minority groups, a pay review based on ethnicity, a BME (Black Minority Ethinic) employee support group to hold the executive board to account. And there is still more promised to come. Result.
But things don't change overnight. At home I am still 1 of 3 daughters without any brothers and at work I am still that lonely brown female sitting across from white males.
Image by unknown
me that by tying these threads I was accepting and condoning the ludacris notion that girls are inferior to boys. Much to my family’s disappointment I stopped the ritual and tried (but miserably failed) to convince my sisters to do the same.
My mum is one strong independent woman and always taught us to be strong and to stand on our own feet without having to rely on a man. Even telling us to put education and careers before marriage as we need to be leaders in the world and not hide in the shadows of a man. All this strength from someone who had those deep rooted emotional scars, has always been so inspiring to me. Sadly though, she still hasn't stopped tying that thread!
Fast forward to the career I have now after all that support and encouragement from my mum. A proud brown woman sitting in a boardroom, convincing the ‘big dogs’ to do things my way! It wasn't always like this though. The more I climbed the ladder, the lonelier I felt. There were less of me, less women and even less non-white people sitting opposite me in meetings. How in this day and age is that possible in the modern workplace?
This last year or so in particular has highlighted the inequality non-white people face in the work place. During the pandemic, reports and research were in abundance around why non-white workers were more likely to contract the disease and die; especially in the healthcare environment. Was it really beacuse of our genetic make up or was it down to the fact that non-white workers are more likely to be in the lower graded, front line job roles and therefore more exposed to the threat?
When George Floyd was murdered there was global outrage and rightly so. I was sick to my stomach. I felt I had to do something and wasn't sure what. I mean surely I could use my position at work to make some noise and shake things up. And with God’s Grace I did just that. I set up a group, a safe space, where people could come and make their voice heard, air their frustration, scream, shout, cry and just be listened
The only place I am truly equal is when I am with the Eternal Teacher, Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, where I, as a Warrior Princess, stand tall and shoulder to shoulder with the Lions. Reflecting on the teachings and now understanding the source of existence resides in each and everyone one; no matter what colour, creed, religion or gender, leaves me with no doubt.
Jagdeep Raina. Langar, 2018. Mixed medium on paper.